Kennedy is getting so mature. She is in cross country, refs for the local soccer association, is a part of the schools pep-squad, and then there is just the social life of a teenager. She comes home lets me know she had a good day or bad. She helps around the house and watches her little sisters when asked. I am told when she needs something for school and I may get tidbits of things going on. I do know that something happened the other day, and for whatever reason, she is not telling me about it.
We don’t always get the time to sit and talk much any more. When we do though, we enjoy each others company and I get this wonderful look into her life. We both walk away from it wishing we did it more often.
I am the mother of six girls. Only three currently live at home with Jeff and me. I never hear from one, and the other two I hear from every once in a while. When those two and I are in touch it is always nice. I hear what is going on in their life, we laugh, and we talk about the things that are difficult for them at this particular time in their life. Sometimes we end the conversation with them promising to call more often, sometime not. I know that they have their own lives now and I try so hard not to hover over them. I know that when they have the time or they think of me, they will call. I miss the one I don’t hear from. I use to be a part of her everyday life and now I am not. Every so often I will hear of something going on with her thru the grapevine, but she doesn’t contact me. I know she has a life now, apart from us, and I don’t want to intrude ~ especially if she doesn’t want me around.
I look at my relationship with each of my girls and I see steps in mine, or others, Christian walk. I wonder how often God has wanted to know and share and be apart of ALL of my life and I only give Him glimpses. I know that right now my walk probably resembles my relationship with Kennedy. I am involved in bible studies, I am going to school, I am raising my girls to know Him; all of the things I should do and that He smiles upon. Just like I smile and am proud of all that Kennedy does, but I miss her. My talks with God are more like mine and Kennedy’s. I talk at Him during the day. I don’t always stop to hear what He has to say. I know that He knows when I am keeping something from Him and He desperately wants me to share, let Him give me a hand. I see and talk with Kennedy daily. I share and talk with God daily. Am I giving Him all of me though?
I have been my two daughters who call once in a while and share all that is going on, good and bad. I have only called on God in the past to share my deepest pain or my greatest joy, never just the everyday stuff and never daily. I went thru a period in my life also, like my one daughter, and went it alone, never calling at all. Did God sit back, as I do, acknowledge that I have a life, and when I wanted I would come to Him. Did He feel as if I didn’t want Him around?
My youngest daughter still thinks I hung the moon. She is with me all the time. I know all of her secrets and fantasies. I know what she wants to be when she grows up and I know when she changes her mind and is going to be something else. I so enjoy my time with her and that we get to spend all of our time together. I want that in my relationship with God too.
We all go thru seasons. I am in a season of motherhood to young children and teens. God knows my heart is in the right place and He patiently waits for me to sit still and listen to Him. I have learned that He is a gentleman; He will not push himself on me. So while I run around He waits for me.
I miss my child, Kennedy. I want for her to find more time for me. I will wait.
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” ~ Revelation 3:20
Is God saying to you “I miss my child”?